02 February 2009

Bad news

Sorry I haven't written in a few days (again)... I had another couple days where M was a little distant and generally unavailable. He said it's because he's been busy, hasn't been feeling very kinky, and...

...because things have been going so great with his new boyfriend that he's started to feel a little like it's cheating to keep holing my key and being kinky with me. So, he finally brought it up last night and we had a chance to talk about it.

Of course, I'm happy for him. Who doesn't want to have a great relationship. And I'm not mad at him, even though a selfish part of me certainly wants to be, especially since he "talked" me into this by firmly suggesting I just do it already... Neither of us knew what our lives would be like in a month when we made this commitment, but he feels like this relationship is becoming more important to him than his serving as keyholder for me is. I understand, and respect the situation, especially since his friendship in general is more important to me than the kinky stuff is specifically. But I'm still left feeling conflicted and a little down, which I think is to be expected.

So, he's going to be coming over Thursday morning before I go to work and he heads off skiing. I'm going to get that "weekly" cleaning that still hasn't happened yet ;) and we'll hopefully have worked out by then how this is all going to go. I'm really hoping to find another interested, local keyholder I trust -- there are a few possibilities -- but I'm really hoping for someone who can continue the kind of teasing that M had been putting me through when this first started. By virtue of our overlapping kink interests and the ability to take things serious enough but without too negatively affecting either of our lives (well, other than my cock's life, of course) it ended up being a great fit that I know I'll have to be damn lucky to strike twice.

If I can't find that in time, I'm not sure what'll happen. I'm hoping he'll still be willing to hold on to the key without any additional kinky/sexual obligation, like he's holding onto an important document or something. I don't know if that will really work out. Whether or not it does, I'm going to ask that those of you out there reading try to help me feel teased and kept constantly horny ;) It should be pretty easy if you look at the posts so far, and many of you who have read the blog and have contacted me on gearfetish.com have already been doing a great job of that! :D I'm buysc on gf or you can always leave comments here ;)

If I can't get him or anyone to actually hold onto the actual key, I'm thinking it would be best to put on a numbered plastic lock and just have you guys reading post comments with specific ways to prove I'm still locked in the same numbered lock through the rest of the month. Not wanting to disappoint everyone who knows about this -- and there are a lot of guys out there who know about this -- is a big part of why I don't plan to just get that lock off on Thursday and just go back to my regular life. So, I'm thinking it would be great, if that happens, to just have you guys leave comments and once a day I'll either take pics of the numbered lock with the posted comments in the shot, or you can leave specific keywords that I can handwrite out and take pics of the numbered lock with all of those.

What does everyone think?

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